In What Ways Do You Disconnect From Your True Self When You React Instead Of Respond?
One thing I always strive to be is balanced, peaceful, and for my actions and words to match up. When I’m in a state of mind that allows me to feel that way, I know I’m doing something right. When any behavior strays me from feeling that way, it gives me an opportunity to see what I can do differently next time.
I’ve found that there’s a clear difference between reacting vs responding. I find when I respond, I’m able to still carry those traits from above that reflect who I am or who I want to be. When I react, I find that I go more off course with who I like to be.
When I react instead of respond I find that it’s usually more impulsive, emotional, and more of an overreaction. When I get engulfed in reactivity, which I do from time to time, in the moment the reaction is what I feel I need to do, but the aftermath of responding this way usually makes me feel really bad and like I could have done things differently.
When I react I say things I don’t mean, I can be rude, I get down on myself, I am frustrated how something turned out, I get louder than I like to be, and I don’t ask any questions I am solely assuming and using my emotions as the forefront of my responses.
This really disconnects me from the way I like to be because I don’t take a minute to set back into who I like to be, I give into the moment. I know reactivity disconnects me from myself, because after I calm down and get into the space I can hear myself think I never like how I react to a situation.
I know that if I take a breath it eliminates the impulsivity, I know that if I ask a question I can decrease that emotional response, and I know that if I go hard on the problem and easier on myself I can take out that over reaction. I know I’m disconnected when I do this, because I know how to respond better, I just didn’t.
Even when you do something that feels disconnected and makes you feel guilty about how you reacted, I have found the best way to gain the reconnection to yourself is to acknowledge the behavior. If I say something snappy, I like to bring it up and apologize and do better next time. If I overreact I bring it up, and apologize and do better next time.
The way to stay disconnected from who you like to be, it to ignore the things that make you feel disconnected in the first place. The acknowledgement of slipping up or making a human mistake allows you to give that feeling of something you didn’t like a name, so you can work on doing something differently next time.
Nobody is perfect, and I slip up all the time because I’m human. But I know how I like to respond to emotionally charged situations, or harder conversations and I know how I do not like to respond. Luckily, there’s multiple times in your days that give you opportunities to learn more about yourself and what feels right with you in your responses.
