5 Questions To Ask Yourself When Disappointed
Sometimes when you feel something negative or draining like disappointment, it’s a great time to decipher what that disappointment really entails. Like I’ve mentioned in other articles, disappointment has many layers, just like a lot of other hard things to feel.
I put together some questions and the reasons why it would help to ask yourself these questions if you’re in the midst of something disappointing. It includes mindset shifts, questioning what this emotion really is, and giving yourself your power back.
#1: Are my expectations for this situation reasonable?
When you’re experiencing disappointment I like this question because it encourages you to assess the expectations of the situation. When you create unreasonable, un-reachable, or impossible expectations it is easy for someone to become disappointed. Also, not properly communicating your expectation to either someone else or even yourself can do the same thing.
This question gives you the opportunity to figure out a foundation for your expectations. Maybe ask if your expectations are attainable, are they coming from something that aligns with who you are foundationally, and how can you make these expectations more attainable to decrease your disappointment in the future? Disappointment goes hand in hand with expectations, but reflecting on what you did expect from a situation can help you see if creating new expectations that are more structured can help.
#2: Is there something I can do better next time?
I like this question because it tells me that I can use this experience of being disappointed as a learning experience. It assesses not necessarily where you went wrong, but it lets you think about what you can do in a similar situation next time that could get a different result. It’s not an accusatory question where you feel like you have to be unkind to yourself if something ended up in a way you didn’t anticipate, but it’s a question to help lead you to being 1% better the next time you encounter a situation like the one you’re in.
#3:What does being disappointed mean to me?
I have found that giving something a definition can help me utilize the feeling that comes with what I’m experiencing. The definition I’ve found of disappointment is sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations. Knowing your own definition of emotions that come up for you is helpful when you identify them because emotions are information. Recognizing you are feeling disappointed is the first action to doing something about it and feeling it through. Once you know you are feeling the emotion of disappointment you can further assess it using the other questions in this article.
#4: Could there be something better than this outcome?
This question gives an optimistic outlook on whatever situation you might be in. Sometimes feeling disappointed can feel like a dead end to something that you wanted. But when you utilize this question you can reframe that mindset by understanding that this might not be the end game of the situation but that it could be even better. A lot of situations can open doors you didn’t know were there or create domino effects to something that you didn’t even know you would enjoy in your life. You can use this question to discover what good you could get out of something not going the way you planned.
#5: Why am I tied to an end result of this situation?
Being set on a desired outcome is a common reason for feeling disappointed. I think figuring out why you’re set on a specific end result of whatever situation you may be in can help broaden your mind on end results. Situations will play out however they may, and it might not be what you intended to happen. Basically saying, the end result of something you are disappointed in is out of your control.
However, if we focus on what we can control in terms of life and outcomes it can lead us to being okay no matter what the circumstances of a situation turns out. I’m not dismissing feelings and natural reactions to things, but as far as expectations of how something should turn out is something you can detach from. What you can control is your thoughts, feelings, and reactions to things and when you do focus on what you can control it alleviates a lot of disappointment in the things around you. Do not try to fix or react to whatever comes into your life. Fix yourself in such a way that whatever comes along, you will be fine.
