What emotion do you feel most often that you wish you didn’t? Why do you think it keeps coming up?

For a long time emotions were something that felt like a nuisance to me. At this point, I think emotions are the greatest connector to not only my own self but in my self trust and personal understanding of myself as well. Emotions are the best indicator of what is for me and leads me to guide myself in the direction I’m supposed to go in. 

An emotion I’ve contemplated lately why it makes me feel uncomfortable is fear. A lot of my limiting beliefs for myself are rooted in fear. Fear of being seen, fear of disrupting peace, fear of messing up. I think it keeps coming up because essentially everything you want is on the other side of yourself, and I am standing in the way of my potential with fear. 

Fear is a safety mechanism for me, a familiar hell. I know what to expect with my fears, and stepping on the other side of those fears is unknown territory. I think it keeps coming up because I have dreams that are knocking on the other side of this emotion I wasn’t sure what to do with. 

While learning to balance the light and dark emotions I have, fear is one that is steadfast. Instead of discarding it, pushing it down, avoiding it I asked how I could utilize this intense energy. Upon reflection and advice from others, I invite fear because it tells me something new and exciting is presenting itself. I tell myself I choose to take fear and turn it into excitement because it’s an opportunity to do something new. 

In alchemizing this intense emotion, it doesn’t discard this part of me that is fearful, but instead gives this “negative” emotion a new meaning.