How To Be Happy As An Overthinker
It’s become clear that life is full of ups and downs. And when we’re riding those ups and downs, I believe there’s been a correlation between the emotions that mirror what we’re experiencing. If we’re on an up, we may chase happiness. If we’re down, we either succumb to the sadness or chase for a way to get out of it.
But to search for unwavering happiness, is to search for a high. Happiness is wonderful. Happiness should be experienced, and is unequivocally understandable why it is sought after. But how I understand happiness is a transitional, advancement time of life. A graduation, the birth of a baby, the start of a new career, maybe a wedding, or a vacation.. Things you don’t do everyday, that is happiness to me-a high feeling.
I believe the disappointment and search for “how to be happy” is when you’re chasing those high feelings you get from a party or a graduation, each day. With that being said, I think searching for a baseline might be more sustainable for feeling our best. Because that precious emotion that happiness really is, is reserved for really amazing things, but simultaneously I think people innately want to feel good as much as they can.
From my experience, my happiness came from maintaining a baseline of contentment. Which has lead me to feel so grateful for those high emotional experiences, but also gives me a reasonable, attainable place to get back to when I’m being dealt something a little lower.
Emotions can be complicated, but before you can manage emotions you have to be honest with yourself. I think in creating that baseline where you genuinely feel good and can get a feel of that “happiness” emotions people are looking for, you have to be honest with yourself.
I have a few questions for you to reflect on to get to a good root understanding of what this happiness emotion may look like for you:
-Does your happiness come from something external or does it come from within you?
-What are things that take away your happiness, and why do you keep them around?
-Do you have an idea of what happiness may look like for you?
Here are my answers, steal them or make them your own.
When my happiness/contentment in genuine it comes from within. It flows and is unwavering. I find peace in very simple things, my mind is quiet, and I don’t have to be busy or doing anything to enjoy myself. When I know my happiness is coming from something external (which doesn’t have to be bad all the time, it can just waver easier) I find it to feel forced, I feel like I owe people something, and I find myself in a state of over thinking if it’s external.
Things that take away my happiness were alcohol, reckless behavior, lying to myself, keeping myself small, not exercising, and avoiding things. At this point no I do not keep these behaviors around. I am 2 years sober from alcohol, I’m intentional with my behavior, I check in with myself, I exercise at least 4x a week, and I will communicate even if it is difficult. I definitely still have flaws and things to work on, but this is what I was actively doing that noticeably made me less happy.
Happiness to me is peace. It is a calm environment, it is ease, it is not overthinking, it is trusting myself, and it is putting myself in a position to be as loved and understood as I can be.
I think chasing the high that happiness is understood to be can lead to high expectations of not only yourself, but life itself too. Riding on that baseline of contentment keeps life simple and more attainable, but also allows you to see the goodness you may miss if you’re always looking for ways to be happy. If you slow down, and get to know yourself you may be surprised how much happiness is inside you and that you might not have to chase it in an external environment.
If you want to read more on How To Be Content With The Life You Already Have and learn about leaning into that baseline we discussed: click here.
