How To Deal With Being An Introvert As An Over-thinker

Relatability 

How it feels to overthink about being an introvert  .

The amount of times I’ve been asked, “why are you so quiet” is really just excessive after 28 years of hearing it. It really wasn’t even myself that started questioning why I was quiet, since it was my natural state, it was the questioning of other people that made me question it. The questioning of other people created an overthinking cycle about the demeanor I presented to the world. I assumed because people were asking so much why I was so quiet, that it was a problem.

What is overthinking about being an introvert doing to my life?

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I feel like there is a strange negative connotation to being a quiet person. Especially as an adult. And I am here to tell you, anyone who has made you feel wrong or has made you question being a quiet person is wrong. It is easy to over-think why you should talk more, how you can be like someone else that’s loud, or become so self conscious about not having anything to talk about. 

I found myself thinking about this stuff very often, and I was trying really hard to mold myself into something I wasn’t…an extrovert. I would speak up and say things that didn’t mean much to me, I would try to fit in more, and I would overthink myself into exhaustion about what I should talk about. In doing this, spoiler alert I didn’t become an extrovert, but I did develop a fear of speaking up from anxiety, I believed my words weren’t important because the ones I was saying were so random, and I believed my natural state of being was just wrong. 

Reflection 

Being quiet is not wrong, but being afraid to speak is wrong. You must speak up for yourself, what you believe in, and not let your quiet nature come from fear because that will not help you. Your quiet nature must come from a place of peace, and from that place you understand how important and valuable your voice is while still conserving your energy and not speaking when you don’t want to, only when it’s necessary for you. 

What I thought about to make changes in being an introvert.

Asking “why” can indicate something accusatory in certain tones or indications in conversation. When asking, “why are you so quiet” there’s an insinuating idea that what’s natural for you needs to be changed for the sake of others. Just because you are comfortable with yourself and don’t need to fill the silence with empty words does not mean you have to. I have found many people aren’t comfortable with themselves enough to sit in silence with their own thoughts, which is why they fill the silence by examining behavior that is making them uncomfortable.

 All of that to say, you being quiet is not an issue, your silence just creates an environment of showing someone who doesn’t understand what being centered with yourself looks like. Being introverted also really has less to do with being quiet and more to do with how you dispute your energy levels. I recharge within myself and sometimes that recharge comes when I am still in a social setting so I speak less to maintain that energy. Being an introvert is responsible, and means you take care of yourself no matter what. 

What made me want to change my view on being introverted  .

The biggest thing that made me change my view on being introverted, is realizing that this personality trait is just for me. As long as I am still using my voice when I need it, and not operating in being quiet under fear it is simply a tool I use to be myself. I use being introverted to recharge, I use it to come up with ideas, I use it to feel good in my body and mind, and I use it to not be what everyone else wants me to be, but who I want to be. 

It’s a really amazing experience when we take something we have always picked on ourselves for, and we use it as a way to turn it into our biggest strength. Being an introvert is something that’s amazing, because it solely recharges you, it's not about anyone else. And the fact that this personality trait doesn’t do anything for anyone else is why people are perplexed by us. 

Reinvention 

What I chose to do with what I learned about being an introvert .

Talking does not equate to value. What I’ve learned about being an introvert is how much I enjoy it. Simply because I’m not saying anything, does not mean I’m not doing anything. When I’m not speaking, I’m thinking and that is where my power is. I used to over-think about how I could change who I was to talk more, but as I grew more into myself I now see that my silence is how I connect to my creativity. And in my creative mode, I find myself excited to speak about the things I’m doing.

When I’m quiet verbally, is when I am on fire creatively. I have swapped the overthinking about changing myself and fitting in with comfortably thinking about new writing ideas, reflecting on if the life around me is something I’m enjoying, what new hobbies I want to try, if I’m speaking to myself kindly, or what I want to bead embroider next. My brain is so creative, and focusing on my creativity allows me to connect to me. 

How I carried out what I learned about being an introvert .

If you are quiet, there is nothing wrong with what you’re doing. Keep being quiet if it’s your natural state, but don’t let your fear of being heard keep you from ever speaking up. There is a difference between being a quiet introvert and being afraid to use your voice. Using your voice is vital to being aligned with who you are and having the life around you that is safe, supportive, and fulfilling. But being quiet and introverted is a state of your being that you can relish in, and conserves energy levels. Use your voice, but do not let your voice be run by fear, you own your voice and can use it.