5 things I’ve Learned From 30 Days of Stoicism
I came across Stoicism about 6 months ago and in proper fashion of myself, spent so much time reading about it to understand it. I really value structure and logic, and philosophy is something that interests me because of that.
From my understanding, I thought the word “stoic” was a description of a person with no emotions, but to my surprise it was much deeper. Based on what I have researched, stoicism is really about mastering yourself. A big teaching is it shows you what to put your focus on, managing thoughts, emotions, and actions. It teaches you how to think logically, despite the emotions you feel. And ultimately it is about embracing the journey of becoming someone we’re proud of.
After practicing what I’ve learned for the last 30 days, here is what I’ve learned:
Stoicism teaches the importance of day and night routines .
Something I began to implement upon learning about Stoicism, is a morning and night time routine. A part of the mastery of self, and working to make your actions align with the person you want to be is reflection. Having a morning and night routine and allowing dedicated time to form an intention for the day, has led my days to have more purpose and clarity. I always claim I want to have a good day, but what does a good day look like? A few of my favorite intentions have been:
Today I will speak my truth
Today I will be authentic and present in each moment
Today I want to see how good today can get
Today I will rest when I need to
Ultimately, I am looking and searching for the intention I set throughout my day. Same for night time, an excellent time to reflect on the day. A solid time to see if you met your intention, did you fall into a bad habit you’re working on getting rid of, did you accomplish a goal? It’s easier to start to see change once you start reflecting and thinking about your day and honoring changes you see.
At night time is when I look for what made me feel thankful in the day. It ends my day on a good note, and also allows me to simultaneously look for gratitude in my day alongside my intention.
2. Stoicism teaches the importance of figuring out what you can control
I’m a huge control freak. I really like things a certain way and it seems to induce a lot of anxiety for me that I’ve been reflecting on. But a really valuable lesson I’ve learned through learning and practicing stoicism is the difference between the things that are up to you and the things that are not up to you.
When you categorize things that occur in life that way, you quickly see how little you actually control. I don’t like how a certain situation is turning out? Realistically, the only thing I can control is how I feel about it. It has taught me to let things I can’t actively control go, and it allows me to feel how I feel about it and let that go as well.
The things I couldn’t control used to have such a grip on me, causing anger or frustration. I chose to put the things I couldn’t control into a box and what I can control into a separate box, and decided to not have a reaction to the things that were outside of my control which has awarded me with a lot of peace.
What can I control?
My opinion
My choices
My desires
My own doings
Notice how someones tone of voice isn’t on there, or the weather, or what your friend is doing. Because you can control absolutely none of that. The only thing you can control is yourself.
3. Stoicism teaches that everything is a choice
This was honestly a big lesson to have learned over the past few months. There was a lot of resistance to this teaching, and it was harder to grasp because it requires a lot of accountability.
I reflect on my choices throughout the day quite often, not in a strict, overbearing way, but just seeing how and why I made choices in my days. I want to make sure, I’m not subconsciously or accidentally steering myself away from being who I want to be based on my responses, the words I’m speaking, and the way I am allowing myself to think.
But it’s true, everything in your life is a choice. It is a choice to be angry, it is a choice to have a bad day, it is a choice to yell at someone, and it is a choice to not do any of those things as well. We are a product of our choices, so learning how to make decisions that are good for us is important. It’s not necessarily easy all the time, but start to notice how your feelings and outside factors affect your decisions. You can tie in the lesson above of focusing on what you can and can’t control, and making your decisions off of that.
4. Stoicism teaching the importance of presence
Anything outside of presence is a thief of a moment. The wonderful tool of being present allows for the things I’ve learned so far to be a possibility. Presence alleviates the pressures of thinking about the future, and the anxieties of thinking about the past. Being in the moment lets you simply see what is right in front of you. It’s a calming experience, and has allowed me to have clarity in calmness. Through presence, I’m able to practice the teachings I’ve learned in stoicism.
Without being present, I would be unable to reflect, to decide, or to hesitate and do something differently. The biggest takeaway this teaching how shown me, is taking yourself out of the moment will keep you from being grounded and is merely a distraction from what is in front of you.
5. Stoicism teaches about getting a little better each day
I’ve notoriously been someone who puts a lot of pressure on myself. Insurmountable expectations of what I should accomplish, it has become pretty exhausting as I’ve gotten older.
But with this understanding of being a little better each day, allows for compound interest of progress instead of burnout and unrealistic expectations. I read a book called, “The Slight Edge” by Jeff Olsen who covered this exact topic. In summary it says that 1% better each day leads to a sustainable building of the person you want to be and the life you want to live.
For example, think about how attainable running 1 mile a day is and adding .5 miles every week sounds, as opposed to, I want to run a marathon next month. The 1% keeps your goals realistic and in reach. Getting a little better each day goes hand in hand with daily reflections too. I journal to keep track of this, and it’s actually an incredible discovery when you see how much you’ve changed or grown in even just a month.
As a beginner, the journal I’ve used for my reflections is “The Daily Stoic Journal” by Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman. It's a daily reflection to think upon each day, based on a Stoic principle theme of the week. It’s a doable, not overwhelming introduction to Stoicism if you’re looking for a new framework for life.
There’s been wonderful lessons I’ve learned, and these teachings have led me to profound thoughts about my own life and where I want to go. I’m definitely still a beginner, but I’m excited to learn more.
